She had an affair with a married man.
It was swift and passionate and gave her the confidence to leave an abusive partner. The relationship fizzled after a torrid few months - he wasn’t ready to fully commit, she wanted to start a life with someone. He stayed in an unhappy marriage. Had another kid, felt more and more suffocated but did what he thought was right and stayed. She soared. She dated. She laughed. She cried. She broke hearts and had hers broken. She finds another safe guy and is ready to settle back down. But she can’t help thinking what if? What if all the stars aligned those years ago and it worked? She picks up from her life in Vermont and goes to LA to see him. The old feelings burst anew. She knows what she wants and it’s him. He’s left his wife and has worked out arrangements for the kids. He’s ready to jump with her. She doesn’t make her return flight. The first few months are passionate and better than she remembered. He seems to have aged a bit but then again, they both have. They elope. Giddy like the kids they once were. He sleeps more. She asks why, he says it’s just work and not to worry herself. They make love, they take trips, they live on. They see a doctor - it isn’t good news. He has months at best. She sits, at a crossroads again. Is it really better to have loved and lost she thinks? She reflects on her past 6 years living in Califronia married to this man. If that isn’t what living life to the fullest, what is?
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March 2018
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