Where should you be?

Being a member of the Gen Y or ‘Millennials’ as we are so affectionately called, we are told to be a number of things.

• Don’t save money, travel the world and find yourself!
• Don’t work for ‘the man’ quit your job and follow your bliss!
• Don’t like your partner at the minute? Dump them and swipe right to someone new!
• Screw consumerism, let’s start our own gardens, recycle and feel we’re doing our part (while buying discounted designer clothes at TJ Maxx)
• Brunch - grammin’ smashed avo on toast with your almond milk latte - nuff said.
• Don’t have kids in your twenties - now is the time to be selfish!
• Have kids early so you can retire sooner!
• What retirement savings? YOLO

I have written a lot about such contradictions in the past. My first website was entitled misstwentysomething and celebrated everything about being a twentysomething in a big city. I was living in London, UK, traveling, working, drinking all the prosecco and basically living my best life.

Now that I’m in the beginning of my thirties, I’m wondering if I really am where I should be? I wouldn’t take away the experiences of my twenties at all. I got to live in one of the most cosmopolitan cities of the world. I got to travel regularly - both for work and for pleasure. I got three degrees. The final one led to my dream job which has kept me employed while doing something I love. I got married. I got divorced. I made new friends, I lost some old ones. I fell in love. I saw the world.

And most of all, I learned a lot about myself in the process.

I’ve always moved around a lot in life so I’ve become incredibly adaptable - I love that side of myself. It’s scary starting over, but it also brings an abundance of joy - creating new friendships, learning a new city, being more comfortable with just being ‘you’ - you spend a lot of time in between moving and ‘settling in’ and that’s often spent with numero uno.

I’ve moved back to settle down in Canada. I’m not yet remarried, I don’t own a house or even have a dog (yet!). And sometimes I can’t help but wonder if I actually am where I should be? I look at friends (old and new) - some who took a steady path - university, serious relationship, marriage, and now a baby carriage. Then there’s the rest who are like me - we’ve spent our twenties doing other things.

Is one better than the other? Did you miss out if you fall into the former category, or are you left behind if you’re in the latter?

So I ask again - where should you be?

Overlooking Raja Ampat 2015